Morons Make The World Go Around

Before I started playing online poker, and indeed blogging, I was somewhat hesitant about using words like 'moron' and 'retard'.

There's something cruel and unsympathetic about both words. In general I'd struggle to label anyone so nastily without very good cause.

Much as poker is part art, and part intuition, it does also provide a reasonably objective method for assessing people through their actions and reactions - which makes it much easier for me now to apply those labels without trepidation.

A new recipient appeared at my table last night. Before we'd even tangled my notes were growing as he displayed little grasp of appropriate bet size, or hand strength.

So it came to pass that having limp called my pre-flop raise, he led into me on a king high board, and instantly called when I set him all in.

Cards on their backs and his K2s - for top pair no kicker, and a backdoor flush draw - was in pretty bad shape against my pocket rockets.

Alas for me, it wasn't to be as his 11% shot arrived on the river when a third king appeared.

Thus making my recent record with aces - blinds won twice, big pots lost twice. The other big pot being yet another AA v KK all-in pre-flop, first card on the flop a K.

That experience further enhanced when the Tribeca client froze for a good ten seconds with only two flop cards showing, giving me fleeting hope that I might escape in Houdini like fashion through a timely system crash.

Of course we can all rely on luck to even out over time, and skill to prevail.

Fortunately The Moron was seated directly to my right, and was in no mood to slow down. I quickly reloaded, and left the chat box untainted by my outrage.

Within a few minutes, I was looking at a 9BB button raise from The Moron, and a respectable AKo in the hole.

Poker is a game of decisions, and against morons the more decisions we get to make, the better our chances of prevailing. I smooth called.

The flop was a very welcome A88. Check.

He moved all in for FIVE times the pot. Call!

Well what do you know. I outflopped his pocket tens and a 9% chance of hitting was too small even for this guy.

Thus it was that I relieved him of all the cash he won from me, plus an additional sum fluked into his temporary possession via other players.

The best part of it is, he is far from unique. I may not meet him at the tables tonight, but I know I'll meet someone like him.