August Summary

A very swift summary since I can't wait to get August out of the way.

In brief. I've been ill. I've played little. I've lost.

To be fair, not a traumatic amount - about $100. Primarily, and somewhat embarrassingly on the $1/$2 HORSE tables. I'm putting it down to variance on the whole since some of the beats really were of the ridiculous variety.

I had another crack at the Stars double shootouts tonight.

Lost one making a big raise all-in to several limpers from the BB with 22. Obviously I'm not wanting a caller here.

I knew I was in trouble when UTG called for 90% of his stack, and I was pretty much doomed when LP reraised all-in for a few more chips, and UTG inevitably called.

Picture my incredulity when the cards were on their backs. UTG limp-calls a 15BB raise with 33 and several players to act behind. LP limp-reraises all-in with KQo.

The flop had a king, the river a 3, and UTG was triumphant.

So, not a bad beat, but really, where do people learn to play like this?

Not that I'm exactly complaining - I just need to regress to ABC on these tables. Like the guy who made a massive all-in raise pre-flop with AA into several limpers, and got called by the mighty A8o. Nice work if you can get it.

The other game was so bad it was almost criminal. Our villain had already amassed some chips when he got into a confrontation with me. Calling from the BB after I raised.

On a K96 flop (two spades) we managed to get it all-in. Me with A9, he with 63. Not a spade between us. The 3 on the river was so predictable I'd already resigned myself before it arrived.

Well, I did say these players were bad! How bad? THIS bad



Yes, I was so pissed off by that beat, I raced over to Sharkscope to prove to myself just how stupid he was.

Very, as it turns out. Not that losing to a fish on 'Super Tilt' makes it any more bearable.

Pass The Antiseptic

Ugh. I played my first poker in almost two weeks today, and very soon regretted it.

Not that I've been short of time. On the contrary, I've had more time on my hands than usual - though it's been mainly of the non-productive variety.

I've been flattened by some sort of virus that the doctor assures me is now on the retreat. Missed a ton of work - not good when you are a freelancer!

One day I'll feel fairly serviceable, the next I wake up feeling OK, but by midday in work I'm coughing, sneezing, sweating, achy, and almost asleep.

Head home, lie down for a recuperative nap, and wake up 15 hours later feeling just as ill.

Very disconcerting, and not a good condition to be in when playing poker. So, I've given it a miss until now.

Tonight I figured I'd have myself a little game. Since I've been eternally promising to take a shot or two at some tournaments, I decided to give the $11 double shootouts to the Stars Sunday Million a try.

It seemed to make sense. A low fee, a big potential upside, and my SNG game had been pretty sharp pre-illness.

Hah! What foolish optimism. Two absurdathons later I felt like I needed to go take a shower to rid myself of the cloying stench of unfettered moronity.

I've often wondered at the reports I see on various forums and blogs, of how diabolical the play can be in the Sunday night biggies across various sites.

How can the play be so bad, when the buy-in is fairly significant?

Tonight I got my answer! I seriously doubt some of the players actually CARED what their cards were. It was purely a chuck em in and see how it goes attitude.

If a gutshot draw was gold, a flush draw - any flush draw - was pure platinum. Worthy of an all-in reraise, no matter the bet or pot size.

There appeared to be an embargo on limp-folding to a pre-flop raise, no matter how big, or the cards held. No consideration of pot odds, stack sizes, position. 100% pure donkeydom.

Of course the last few paragraphs are the thoughts of a sick and bitter man.

In the cold light of day, and when my illness has subsided, what this actually translates as is 'I need to play a whole lot more of this game!'

Not being much of a tournament player, satellites are a pretty pointless endeavour for me normally. However, if I can't get paid in these things at a rate substantially better than 1-in-64 I might as well give up poker and stick to the lottery.

I imagine the variance must be pretty high - and the suckout/tilt score must be astronomical - but a bit of perseverance must surely pay off?

There are presumably a fair few players out there who make a decent living playing these games and converting the winnings into a hefty bank of saved T$ for investment in other tourneys, or cash trading purposes.

It won't be a full time endeavour for me, but I'll certainly be diverting some effort in this direction once I'm fighting fit again.

3, 2, 1....Launch

Rats!

I upgraded to the new Blogger beta version, primarily so I could utilise the labelling option to categorise my posts.

Only to discover that because I have a customised template, I can't use them yet.

Sigh. There's no way I'm giving up my groovy design, so no labels for me.

On the plus side, the new spell checker is way better.

I Travel

As a small industrialised country on the periphery of Europe, as a trading nation with an established tourist industry, and with a long history of emigration creating a worldwide community, one might imagine the Scottish international transport network would be highly developed.

Geographically we lie on an intercontinental crossroads between North America and Europe. On a clear day, the sky is criss crossed with vapour trails from jets cruising overhead at 35,000 feet as they arrow west and east across the Atlantic.

Yet precious few of them descend into the three central Scottish airports - Prestwick, Glasgow, and Edinburgh - that serve the majority of the population.

It was not always so. There was a time Scotland was well served by a combination of US and UK operators, before changing economic conditions and political influences triggered a retreat from the Scottish market.

The UK flag carrier, the oh so inappropriately named British Airways, now flies almost exclusively from it's London hubs, meaning any trip to the USA on BA involves a 90 minute journey south, only to retrace the steps a few hours later on one of those jets we see soaring above us.

Similarly trips eastwards to the Middle East, Asia, and beyond almost all commence with a short hop to Amsterdam, Heathrow, Frankfurt, or Paris to connect with the services of another flag carrier.

Over recent years, the situation has gradually improved.

The European short haul market has been subjected to an earthquake over the last few years by the explosion of low cost airlines.

These airlines predominantly focus on point-to-point routes, which removes the dependency on hubs.

The biggest source of new routes has been Ryanair, flying from their base at Prestwick to a wide array of European airports. The Ryanair model favours secondary airports of varying utility - some being somewhat remote, whilst others are better located than Ryanair critics would have you believe.

Mrs Div and I made use of a Ryanair flight to Bergamo airport to facilitate a very nice weekend spent in Milan and the Italian lakes.

The other mega player in the European budget airline market is EasyJet - whose inaugural flight was to Glasgow. Since then, their rate of expansion in Scotland has been disappointing - though recently they have begun to enhance their range of European destinations from Glasgow.

EasyJet tends to give good domestic coverage, but there is scope for a lot more to come if they so desire.

The long haul market has not been so affected by the boom in budget travel.

On the positive side, a new service direct from Atlanta to Edinburgh was recently launched by Delta Airlines, and Continental Airlines have been expanding their flights direct from New York to Glasgow and Edinburgh.

On the negative side, American Airlines recently announced they were dropping their summer service direct from Chicago to Glasgow - another route which Mrs Div and I have used previously.

With that mixed picture of the long haul market, what a pleasant surprise it has been to discover innovation coming from a Scottish company - Flyglobespan - who are introducing a low cost ethos to longhaul routes.

Flyglobespan have not only been building up a network of European routes - primarily to holiday destinations - but have now introduced long haul scheduled services.

Their initial route from Glasgow to Orlando now gives Scottish and US travellers a direct scheduled flight from Florida to Scotland.

Next on the agenda is a direct scheduled flight from Boston to Glasgow - and rumours abound of a possible code-share with a US carrier to offer connections from Boston. JetBlue perhaps?

Obviously all good news for anyone wanting to travel between Scotland and the USA, and I'm all for seeing Scottish companies do well - especially when it boosts the broader economy - but why should I be getting so excited?

With a young baby, unfortunately the Div family travel options for the next few years are likely to be restricted.

Restricted, but not eliminated. Mrs Div is off to New York with her sister in a few weeks, for a long weekend - courtesy of those direct Continental flights from Glasgow to Newark.

My travel plans are less certain, but Flyglobespan have recently announced a very tempting new option - direct scheduled flights from Glasgow to Las Vegas!

Yes, the entertainment capital of the world is now directly accessible from Las Vegas. I jest!

To be fair, there may be a few Nevadans booking flights eastwards to sample the delights of the Scottish whisky industry, or compare the relative merits of the finely manicured Vegas golf courses with the unruly Scottish links courses.

Realistically, the majority of passengers will be, well, people like me! Heading westwards for some serious gambling, drinking, and maybe a bit of sun. I am SO up for that!

A direct flight might be slightly pricier than the cheapest connection options, but if I've got the chance to stagger onto a plane at McCarran, and not stir until touchdown in Glasgow, then that's got to be money well spent.

That next Vegas trip just took a step closer...

Blogger Beta

I've got the option to upgrade to the beta version of Blogger, so I will probably bite the bullet in the next few days.

Bear with me if it all goes tits up!

Who Said Satire Was Dead?

The fact

The fiction

Well done eTims for highlighting the absurdity of the Artur Boruc situation.

At a time when fifty crimes a day are going unpunished in Scotland because the Procurator Fiscal can't be bothered prosecuting, it's interesting to see where their priorities lie.

It appears pandering to neanderthal bigots is less hassle than pursuing genuine criminals.

Witch Ducking For The Noughties

I see The Metropolitan Police are using some medieval techniques as inspiration for their latest tactics in the war on terror.

Apparently if you are shot by the police as they attempt to arrest you, then you probably are not a terrorist.

If you are not shot by the police as they attempt to arrest you, then you may be a terrorist.

Yay Poker

Had a much improved time on the HORSE tables last night; though still not as profitable as some of the reports I'm reading elsewhere.

There are some fundamental concepts that appear to elude people. Such as, in a split-pot game the objective is to scoop.

Hence the table captain was less than impressed when I rivered a gutshot straight with my low hand to scoop in Stud-8. What he didn't seem to pick up on was that with a made low on 5th, against his obvious made high but no low draw, I had a 2 card freeroll to the other half of the pot.

He reckoned one of us played 'terrible terrible terrible', and I agree.

After that I had another crack at some NLHE on Tribeca, and rapidly doubled through courtesy of a truly atrocious player who didn't reraise QQ pre-flop, didn't reraise when raised on a super low flop, gave a free card on the turn, and called my river bet having let me catch a backdoor flush.

He figured the only explanation for losing was that the site was rigged, and didn't shut up about it for the next 30 minutes. Though it didn't stop him continuing to play.

I then gave back most of my winnings with QQ v AA on another low flop.

The frustrating thing about that hand was I'd picked up a run of decent starting hands, raised, got called, and missed every flop - usually folding to a bet or raise.

So, when the button raised, I reraised, and we got into a raising war on the flop after he called the pre-flop reraise, I thought it was my LAG table image getting paid off. Little did I know!

I took that as a sign, and retired for the evening with another small profit.

Right In The Mouth

Ah PokerStars, how you tease and torment me.

Clearly you've been following my blog, and watching as I experiment with a variety of poker games. So you send along the apparent answer to my prayers, HORSE cash games.

Furthermore you send multiple dispatches from the front, telling tales of uberdonkitude, and bankroll padding.

Then you send me a table with a juicy mix of Scandinavian raising machines, and 'what game are we playing now?' buffoons.

Only to torment me with the worst starting cards I have ever seen and, on the few hands I actually took to showdown, some of the cruelest river cards imaginable.

There's no doubt for a tight player like me, Stars is the best site for playing stud games. On Full Tilt the ante is 20% of the small bet; on Party it's a silly 25%; on Stars it's a frugal 10%.

Sitting around waiting for hands doesn't cost a lot of money. Unless you do it for about four hours.

Four hours, that is, punctuated with tiny bursts of activity which inevitably ended with a frenzied rush to the hand history for an instant post-mortem of the McEnroe-esque 'how could you call four bets with that?', 'what did you think you were drawing to?' variety.

Chalk flew up, I swear. Actually I swore a lot!

Of course I also misplayed a couple of hands. I've played a lot of PLO8, but hadn't bothered with LO8 before. Initial reaction, not a fan. Maybe I'll change my mind after I actually win a hand!

I was also playing some NLHE simultaneously, which was clearly a stupid idea.

Most significantly, having recently purchased Setanta Sports - including North American Sports Network - I'd made the mistake of asking Joe Speaker for an explanation of a couple of baseball terms.

Within minutes I was perusing a document of such complexity, I'm almost certain it proved beyond doubt the existence of the Bermuda Triangle, life on Mars, as well as providing an irrefutable solution to the Poincare conjecture.

My head swimming from that missive, it's no wonder I was fish food for the night.

The Power Of Deception

I've been working extensively on my No Limit Hold Em cash game recently.

Previously my standard game was the $100 buy-in, but I've dropped down to allow scope for experimentation without risking too much damage to the bankroll.

My basic premise has been that my game was too predictable to be successful in the long term at higher levels.

I'm confident my LIMIT game is good for as high a level as I can realistically anticipate playing in the foreseeable future. I'm super tight in early position, loosening up closer to the button, and very aggressive. Which works just fine.

Doing a simple transfer of this game to no limit, and generally just throwing out pot-size bets when I think I'm ahead, is probably good enough to work at the very lowest limits, but it does have it's weaknesses.

Most notably it makes me vulnerable to trapping from the other decent players who are floating around.

Take for example my previous range for making a standard raise under the gun. There would be some variation dependent on the nature of the game, but anyone putting me on something like AA-TT or a big (probably suited) ace wouldn't be far from the truth.

Let's further assume the button is holding something like 8s7s. Against my range they are about 3/1 pre-flop, so seeing a flop is very worthwhile. Indeed chuck in one or two loosey goosey callers with fairly random ranges and the numbers almost demand they call.

So not only is the button getting good odds to call pre-flop, but with my range he will always have a fair idea where he is in the hand. Whereas I am pretty much committed to chucking out bets until I run into resistance.

This can leave me a bit of a sitting duck when I do get action, but don't particularly like the flop or turn.

The converse side of the coin is sometimes I could sit for ages waiting for a hand, stick in a raise, and everyone folds. It's like playing with the cards face up.

So there's potential to be caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. Smart opponents only call with hands with a decent chance of cracking a big pair, and when they hit the flop they can generally be pretty sure where they stand.

It's also pretty boring sitting around for ages waiting for a decent starting hand, then only managing to snare the blinds!

To combat this, I've gone almost entirely in the opposite direction by adapting my new SNG game to the cash tables. Playing lots more hands from all positions, with a much wider starting range.

It's not totally random - the J2, Q4 hands still hit the muck - but there's a much bigger chance I'll be raising with a small pocket pair, suited connectors, even one or two gappers.

The benefits of this so far have been noticeable.

Some of the more obvious are:

I'm stealing an amazing number of pots that I never expected to steal. I'm astounded how a reasonable raise can sometimes induce four or five limpers to fold.

My big hands are getting action from the strangest sources. All-in on a Q-high flop with AA v Q3. Marvellous. Of course now instead of cursing when it's all folded pre-flop to my aces, I find myself cursing the river when the rogue 3 arrives, but that's a cross I will gladly bear!

The disguise is deadly. Picture an opponent with 77 who calls a pre-flop raise to hit his set, and succeeds on a 972 flop.

Right now he is praying I have AA and not AK, so likely will only call my flop bet for fear of losing his customer, and will gladly stick it all-in on an innocuous turn 5, only to explode in chat box fury when my 86 stacks him.

"You fish! How can you raise with 86? Moron, retard...."

Well, actually I can raise 86 for this very scenario, and if I hate the flop I can check fold at a cost of a few blinds.

More subtle benefits I've spotted so far are that I actually get to see many flops a lot cheaper than previously.

With my standard raise being 3BB plus one for each limper - regardless of whether I've got bullets or 54o - I'm seeing a lot of flops cheaply when people holding middle/big pairs, or particularly AK/AQ, only call instead of reraising.

Yet the same players will open for 6BB with AK if there's no raise. So, by raising in advance, I define the size of their bet.

Another benefit which derives from tournament theory is I'm playing lots more hands against bad players. If we assume in general that at the lower limits I have an edge - as I feel I do - then playing a super tight style is limiting my opportunities to make money.

It's often said in deep tournaments that the first few rounds are where the good players make hay by milking the weak players of their chips. They see lots of flops as cheaply as possible, in the hope of hitting big and stacking weak players who can't put down overpairs, etc.

In that respect low limit cash games are a never ending tournament round 1, with shoals of bad players, fixed blinds, and what is hopefully the equivalent of an infinite stack, since any time I make a mistake or get unlucky I can immediately dip into my bankroll.

Those circumstances surely suggest I should develop a style that makes me play more hands?

Notwithstanding all these tactical or financial reasons for changing style, there's also the simple point that it's a damn sight more fun!

The swings may be greater, and I've certainly made a few howlers so far, but overall the bankroll is moving the right way and I am really enjoying it so far.

Not that I'm complacent. It's still early days in the learning experience, and I'm no Gus Hansen, but having fun and making money are two strong motivators to persevere with this approach and work on ironing out the defincencies in my game.

PokerStars Sponsors UK Amateur Poker Association

OK, enough of the pretty girls in short skirts for now.

I'm off on business for a few days, so I'll leave you with some proper poker news about an interesting development in the UK poker scene.

I've met a couple of the guys involved in this, and they are decent guys who have a passion for poker.
======================================================================
Amateur Poker Association & Tour Formed In UK

London, August 1, 2006 – Amateur Poker Limited, in association with PokerStars.com and PokerPlayer Magazine, today announced the formation of the Amateur Poker Association & Tour (the "APAT").

The APAT is the world's first combined Poker Association and Tour, and will hold its inaugural live event, the English Amateur Poker Championship, at the Broadway casino in Birmingham on September 23rd & 24th, 2006. Players will start the event with 10,000 in chips, and a structure designed to encourage creative play throughout.

The Tour, headline sponsored by the world's leading tournament site PokerStars.com, will allow APAT members to take part in a series of high profile events with low entry fees, and with sponsor funding increasing the value of prizes considerably.

Season one will feature seven national and international events culminating in European and World Amateur Poker Championships. Each APAT event winner will receive a cash prize, an engraved Championship Cup and an expenses paid European Poker Tour or World Series Of Poker main event entry. In addition, the APAT will run an Online Series of nationally titled events on PokerStars.com, with the overall APAT player of the year winning an expenses paid trip to the sun to play in the PokerStars.com Caribbean Adventure World Poker Tour event.

The Association, headline sponsored by PokerPlayer Magazine, will consult with gaming and industry bodies to enhance the player experience; with standardisation of rules, player friendly structures and event sponsorship at the top of its agenda. APAT news updates and detailed Tour reports will feature in each new issue of PokerPlayer Magazine, notably increasing the profile of each APAT event winner.

Tony Kendall, APAT Chairman, said: "I am delighted to be associated with the Amateur Poker Association & Tour, which I believe is a significant new development in European poker. The APAT will quickly become ‘the' affordable proving ground for players wanting to realise their potential in high quality live events, and a guaranteed added value prize pool is great news for everyone. I look forward to welcoming players of all abilities to the APAT, and if it's your first time in a casino environment, then we're going to give you a truly memorable experience."

Tamar Yaniv, European Director of Marketing at PokerStars.com, added: "PokerStars.com is passionate about poker in the UK, and the Amateur Poker Association & Tour shares our values in wanting to give their members the best tournament experience possible. Each player has a chance to win a national title and those who do will get the opportunity to fulfil their dream at a PokerStars.com European Poker Tour event or at the World Series Of Poker. We're pleased to sponsor the APAT, and look forward to meeting members in cardrooms across the UK, and online at PokerStars.com."


APAT Membership and Tournament registration can be obtained online at www.apat.com. Individual Membership of the Association will cost £10, while entry to the English Amateur Poker Championship will cost £67.50 with a registration fee of £7.50, subject to availability. Online qualification will be available at PokerStars.com for APAT's international tournaments, starting with the European Amateur Poker Championship during the Easter holiday period, 2007.

For additional information on the Amateur Poker Association & Tour, and an electronic press pack, contact Richard Prew, media@apat.com, or visit the Press section at www.apat.com.

About Amateur Poker Limited:

Amateur Poker Limited is a commercial entity, established by a team of experienced poker and business professionals with a vision to deliver a player focussed proposition, with equal appeal to its members, corporate sponsors and key gaming venues and regulators.

For Further Information:

Media:

Richard Prew
Media Director
Amateur Poker Limited

richard@apat.com


Tony Kendall
Chairman, APAT
Amateur Poker Limited

tony@apat.com


Commercial:

Des Duffy
Managing Director
Amateur Poker Limited

des@apat.com

More Shark Jumping In Lingerie

I couldn't resist it. I'll update as the story unfolds...













All courtesy of The Sun.

Hint. If you can't read the text, click on the pics to maximise them, then right click on the full size picture and Save As onto your PC.

Then you can open them in a viewer and zoom in, on the dialogue obviously!

Has UK Poker Jumped The Shark?

Well, if the Dear Deirdre column in The Sun is any evidence, it hasn't so much jumped the shark, as performed a triple somersault with pike over the shark!

For those of you not in the know, Dear Deidre is The Sun agony aunt who, as well as solving numerous tales of woe such as unwanted pregnancies, cheating spouses, alcoholic kids, and premature ejaculators, also runs a photographic 'casebook' over several days.

Sadly they don't publish them online any more, so I'll summarise as the drama unfolds - perhaps with assistance from my scanner later.

On Day 1 this week, we discovered that our serious faced hero Barry is plying his leggy but a bit too skinny girlfriend Maxine with oodles of sexy lingerie - bought, he claims, with his extra earnings from overtime at work.

But Barry has a secret. He can't tell Maxine the true source of his lingerie funds!

On Day 2 we discover Barry's dark secret. While Maxine lies alone at home (in her lingerie of course) worrying about his whereabouts, Barry isn't in the pub, as he claimed, but settling down to a game of No Limit Texas Hold Em.

He's on a winning streak and feeling lucky tonight. What could Day 3 hold?

More soon....

July Summary

Posting volume is diminishing recently, so I'm forcing myself to rattle off the monthly update in good time as compensation.

In results terms, July was one of my better months of the year. Though I'm getting nowhere near the earn rate I'd initially aimed for at the start of the year.

The big bonus this month was the launch of PokerStars resizeable tables. For those of us forced to scrape by with 15" monitors, multitabling is not a joyful experience, but four tables on Stars is now easily achievable.

This prompted me to launch back into the SNG world with gusto. Initially at the $10 buy-in, and now cruising along in the $20 games. My results were pretty good, especially as I've been working on my game - playing more hands, and picking my moments for less orthodox plays. Fun times.

In the last week or so, I moved back into the world of cash No Limit Hold Em, which is something I've been away from for quite a while.

Given my lack of match practice, and ongoing experimentation with new strategies, I've been playing at very low limits.

Despite a few setbacks, and some enforced adjustments to my new strategy, I'm in the black, and learning more every day.

I don't want to say to much now as - calm yourselves! - I've got a strategy post of sorts fermenting in my mind.

In summary then. I won, I had fun, and it was damn hot in Scotland.

Oh, and Celtic won their first game of the new season in style. Must get back to commenting on football at some stage...

Hot In The City

Zoinks. A week since my last post.

In my defence, it's hot here. Damn hot. Too hot to think, too hot to work, but not too hot to play poker - especially on a wireless laptop in the back garden.

Not that I'm complaining, I much prefer it hot than cold. It's just a major inconvenience that the super modern office I'm working in appears to have air conditioning from the dark ages.

At heart I'm definitely a shorts and t-shirt man, and wearing a shirt and smart trousers in soaring temperatures and oppressive humidity just isn't my idea of a fun day.

Still, when the route to work looks like this, it does make things marginally more bearable.

Another benefit of the heat is the comedic effect it can have on the inhibitions, and dress sense, of my fellow citizens.

The office is in a part of the city centre which is probably described by the council as a 'regeneration' area.

This is a euphemism for 'recovering dump' and what it means is a bunch of speculative build offices and luxury apartments have been thrown up in the midst of the red light zone.

Thus the character of the place changes throughout the day. As the office workers depart in the evening, the ladies of the night arrive to ply their trade.

Last week, a couple of the more mature night shift were still on duty as I arrived for work. Forty dressed as fourteen, and not pretty.

I presumed the good weather meant the punters had been out in force, keeping them occupied long into overtime hours.

As I ascended in the glass lift within the office, I was somewhat surprised to see them amble into the building and pass security unchallenged.

Yes, it was a couple of ladies from the call centre, out enjoying a cigarette in the sun before starting their shift.

Gotta love casual dress code in the call centre.

It's not so unusual as people might imagine for it to be hot in Glasgow. What feels different right now is the ferocity of the sun.

As I lazed by the Clyde at lunchtime, it felt more Greek Islands than Glasgow. Fifteen minutes was enough for the heat to become physically discomforting.

As these heatwave images show, it's not just sunburn I should have been worrying about!

Watching the office workers sprawled on the riverside grass, I was reminded of an old sci-fi classic - much underestimated in my opinion - The Day The Earth Caught Fire.

If the North Koreans were testing bombs instead of missiles I may have begun to wonder.

The riverside is amazingly tranquil. The traffic noise seems to blend into the background, and the sound of seagulls becomes more prominent.

Seagulls are horrible, scummy birds, but their distant calls do make the atmosphere more restful - evoking hints of sleepy fishing village rather than bustling urban centre.

The Glasgow riverside really is shamefully under-utilised, though a multitude of grand plans exist to make it a focal point again. Sadly they all seem to be mired amidst funding and planning issues.

It's enough to make one despair of democracy. I often muse that the country would be better off under the rule of an enlightened and benevolent dictator - such as myself.

Trust me people, it would be a fun place to live, and I guarantee the trains would run on time - and often too!

Perhaps I can fund my coup from poker winnings, since whilst not quite running as hot as the weather, I'm certainly beyond lukewarm.

I've dropped the $10 STT completely and migrated northwards to the $20 games.

Playing sets of four I'm generally managing at least two cashes. Which is okay-ish when there's a second and third, but distinctly pleasant when it's two firsts!

My last set showed two firsts, a fourth, and an early exit. The fourth should have been a cash, but for two appalling beats in quick succession, but equally, one of the firsts came courtesy of making a straight to beat two-pair so the cards seem to be running relatively true.

That said, I do fancy a little change of scene, so I might give the cash NLHE tables a shot soon.

Speaking of shots, the PokerStars World Championship Of Online Poker is back in town soon, and the schedule looks inviting - with $10m in guarantees.

September 16: Razz ($200+$15) $100,000 guaranteed
September 17: NL Hold 'em ($500+$30) $1,500,000 guaranteed
September 18: PL Omaha (rebuys) ($300+$20) $400,000 guaranteed
September 19: NL Hold 'em Match Play ($200+$15) $300,000 guaranteed
September 20: Limit Omaha High/Low ($500+$30) $300,000 guaranteed
September 21: NL Hold 'em (rebuys) ($200+$15) $1,000,000 guaranteed
September 22: Limit Hold 'em ($200+$15) $200,000 guaranteed
September 23: HORSE ($200+$15) $100,000 guaranteed
September 23: PL Hold 'em ($500+$30) $400,000 guaranteed
September 24: NL Hold 'em ($1,000+ $50) $1,000,000 guaranteed
September 25: Seven Card Stud ($300+$20) $100,000 guaranteed
September 26: PL Omaha8 ($300+$20) $200,000 guaranteed
September 27: PL Hold'em ($300+$20) $400,000 guaranteed
September 28: Seven Card Stud High/Low ($500+$30) $200,000 guaranteed
September 29: PL Omaha ($500+$30) $300,000 guaranteed
September 30: HORSE ($5,000+$200) $100,000 guaranteed
September 30: Limit Hold'em ($1,000+$50) $400,000 guaranteed
October 1: NL Hold 'em ($2,500+$100) $3,000,000 guaranteed

I did say I'd take a few shots this year, so it will soon be time to get my satellite hat on.

With my work and family commitments a lot of these events are off limits due to time and timezone constraints. Weekend tournaments are more to my taste, so if I'm feeling masochistic I could go for the initial Razz event - and the baby buy-in HORSE event certainly has appeal.

Although, who scheduled it for the same night as the Bash At The Boathouse!? Foolish PokerStars.

Ten Things I Hate About Harrah's

Like most poker players who can't make it to Vegas for any part of the WSOP, I'm more than a little jealous of those who are there.

Not just for the thrill of competing for a bracelet, but for the buzz of all the side action. The total immersion in the poker culture, as documented so evocatively by the likes of Anthony Holden.

As I've said to others, the attachment felt by poker players to the WSOP is more than just financial. It has an emotional pull similar to that felt for our families, friends, or the sports teams we were brought up to support.

Just because the management are fools, we don't abandon our team. It's bigger than that. An inescapable gravitational force that draws us back no matter what.

Yet over the past few days, my WSOP envy has somewhat diminished as a succession of reports from the front have filled me with dismay at the mishandling of the entire event by Harrah's.

I'm the sort of guy who can stumble across a mediocre English 1st division game on Sky Sports - caring not a jot about the result - and within five minutes be frothing at the mouth about some diabolical tackle, or abysmal decision. I can't help getting annoyed, even when it doesn't affect me directly.

With that in mind, I've rattled off a list, in no particular order, of some of the idiocies imposed on the players (also known as paying CUSTOMERS) this year:

1. Pay the dealers properly - part 1. There have been multiple complaints about the poor quality of dealers, and the floor decisions during the event. Rumours abound of some of the tips from last year not making it to the staff, and changes to the pay calculations this year leaving employees short. If the staff are not competent and happy, the game isn't going to run smoothly.

2. Pay the dealers properly - part 2. As everyone knows, at the WSOP it's not just about the big tourneys, it's also about the cash games and STTs. Due to dealer shortages presumably caused by point 1, players are being forced to leave the Rio and play elsewhere due to huge waiting lists for side games.

3. The poker room rate - As usual, the players are getting stiffed. The rate offered to players is less than the rate some tourists are getting by just wandering in off the street.

4. The tax - UK (and some other European) players don't pay tax on poker winnings. So stop asking the players for money they don't owe from last year, and start paying out in full this year.

5. The cards - In the blue riband $50k HORSE event, which was juiced to the tune of approx $300k, Andy Bloch complained so vehemently about the poor quality of the cards that he was eventually given a penalty. The cards were marking easily, and this in various stud versions where the marking could provide a big edge.

6. The organisation - part 1. Changing the structure of an event without advance warning is a joke. Is it any surprise Harry Demetriou got so annoyed? I wouldn't expect that from a £20 game in my local cardroom.

7. The organisation - part 2. Today's event is a $1500 PLO freezout, err rebuy, err both! A new bracelet event added with just hours notice. Why? Who asked for it? Why was it agreed to? Is it all about the money?

8. It's the World Series of POKER - As pointed out on Blonde Poker, in 2001 Hold Em comprised about 40% of WSOP events, in 2006 it's more like 75%. The World Series should be about promoting poker - not exploiting those who play - by always going for the lowest common denominator.

9. Treating the players like crap - Miniscule food comps, eleven handed tables, alternate lists bigger than most regular tourneys. If the lists are too long, cap them. The smaller buy-in comps start with low chip stacks already. Stop exploiting the players by charging to run a crap shoot.

10. Show me the money - The tables are sponsored, the beer is sponsored, the TV rights are sold, the live update rights are sold, but the juice continues. There should be money ADDED - at least to the bigger buy-in events - instead the taking continues unabated.

Of course the players need to get their act together too. If they continue to let Harrah's push them around, things just won't improve.

I liked the suggestion by Julian Thew that players on the TV table could hit back by refusing to show their hole cards to the camera.

Unfortunately I couldn't locate the tourney T&Cs on the WSOP website, so I don't know if that would be a breach or not. If it's feasible, it would be a VERY effective bargaining tool. Worthy of investigation I think.

Experimentation

Here's a fun poker hand from the weekend action.

I've been experimenting with my style - trying to be a bit more deceptive in the early stages of SNG where there are still enough chips in relation to the blinds to allow some scope for manouevre, and there's the chance to stack opponents and get an early lead.

Traditional theory has it that a hand like 53s is worth limping in with in late position when there's a good price being obtained.

However the drawback of that is when you really hit the flop it's often pretty obvious to opponents that you could be playing that sort of hand, so TPTK is a lot easier to get away from - for some players.

There's also the risk that a savvy player in the blinds who looks down at something like AK/AQ, or a medium pair, will stick in a big raise to try to pick off the limpers.

So, opening with a raise holding baby cards in EP has two advantages.

Firstly, it's highly deceptive as to what I'm holding. It's the same raise I'd put in with AA/KK.

Secondly, AK guy might choose to smooth call - fearing a monster - meaning I get to see a relatively cheap flop, and if he sticks in a chunky reraise I can easily get away from the hand.

How I play after the flop determines whether this strategy gives me an edge or not, since more often than not I'm going to get called somewhere. On occasion it is enough to steal the blinds, which makes it an excellent bet.

As this hand illustrates, success can be rewarding, but there are pitfalls too. If I'd flopped a flush draw here, instead of a straight, I could have been in a world of pain.

My pre-flop raise let me take a free card when I needed it, and I'm pretty sure left my opponent thinking I had something like AQ or JJ. Meaning when I hit on the river it was very well disguised.

It doesn't always go so smoothly, but there are other ways to win too. This is an example where I got lucky on the river.

There are a few interesting things about this second hand.

Note the way my opponent underbets the flop and turn. He doesn't reraise me all-in when he has the chance on the turn.

At this point, it's obvious we've both misread the other - but I have a safety net that will rescue me on a lot more occasions than he expects.

The way he had bet, I figured him for a middle pair, and thought he'd put me on AK or similar. So, I thought I might be able to push him off on the turn with a decent reraise to represent a big overpair, whilst knowing I had straight and flush draws to fall back on.

As it happens, a big overpair is exactly the hand he was hoping I had, since he'd flopped a set of fours.

So, when he reraises on the turn, I'm left to call getting approx 4/1 to hit a slightly worse than 3/1 river.

His remaining small stack makes the actual implied odds more like 5/1, since it's virtually impossible for him to fold if I hit on the river.

Whereas with blinds at 15/30 I can still escape if I miss with a playable 880 chips left.

For every example where it works as planned, there are several cases where I need to fold to a chunky reraise, or hit such a horrible flop that checking and folding is the only option.

The advantage is, I can minimise the downside and maximise the upside, which should make this a winning play when I'm on my game.

A less obvious benefit is, this is one heck of a fun way to play poker!

Winning a big pot with aces or kings often gives me a feeling which is more one of relief, or righteousness, rather than exhilaration.

Often I find myself willing my opponents to fold to my turn or river bet, fearing he is going to turn over some bizarre 2-pair hand to crack my monster. There's hardly a river card I can really like.

When he folds, or calls with a lesser pair, I can breathe again, and stack the chips.

You can imagine my expression when the river appeared in the first hand above. Not only had I hit, but I knew I was getting paid!

The emotion was glee and delight, not relief. Much more rewarding, and much more fun.

It's A Funny Old Game

Some hobbies can be a welcome escape from the harsh realities of day-to-day life.

People can have fun blowing off steam by hitting the gym, going to a gig, watching a game of football, or just having a few beers with their pals.

Poker isn't quite like that. The mental strain can actually accentuate, rather than ease, the tensions of the 'real world'.

Not always though. Much as I used to do with computer games, I find when I'm 'in the zone' other worries fade away and only the game matters.

Last night was one of the bad nights. I played five SNG on Stars, finishing 97766.

A pretty abysmal showing, and while I could point to the usual array of bad beats, I made just as many mistakes as my opponents.

I wasn't actually feeling a great urge to play, but I felt obliged to get a few games in. Some PC problems have kept me otherwise engaged over the last few nights, and I wanted to rack up a few games.

Even the number of games played is indicative of my state of mind. I've been playing sets of four, but somehow I managed to simultaneously sign up for five. Not concentrating. No focus. Lazy, distracted thinking.

The most +EV thing I did all night was log out before I could commit to another set.

Tonight was a different story. For whatever reason I felt focused and ready.

The result? Success number one, I managed to register for the correct number of games. Success number two, four cashes - finishing 2131

Yeah baby. That's more like it!

The most gratifying game was the final win, not just because it put the icing on the cake, but because at one point a truly donktastic call - and subsequent suck-out - by an opponent left me with less than 2BB when we were seven handed.

Yet I clawed my way back and ultimately defeated the earlier misguided caller in heads up play.

Perhaps I should be back at the tables instead of writing this, but I'm knackered tonight, and an early morning optician appointment awaits.

Can't win at poker if I can't see the cards!

HORSEd

I've just read on Blonde Poker that the Final Table of the $50k HORSE event will be all No Limit Hold Em.

Seems like a missed opportunity to me. I wonder how far in advance the players knew about the set-up.

Music To Play Poker By (in Vegas)

We haven't had one of these for a while, so I thought I'd slip in a quick dedication for all those lucky bloggers who are converging on Vegas.

Hard-Fi - Living For The Weekend

A cracking track, and just perfect lyrics for the occasion. I also heard a rumour the lead singer is almost as ancient as me. Nice to know some of us oldsters can still cut it.

Got some money to spend
Living for the weekend
When it gets too much
I live for the rush
Got some money to spend
Living for the weekend

Have a great time you lucky sods.